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Wanting her love versus Needing her love

I was having a conversation with a coaching client who was struggling to get love back from his wife.


Ultimately, it came from a place of lacking self-love.

This got me thinking about the difference between needing her love and wanting her love.


Needing Her Love

- Dependence - Needing her love often means relying on her for your emotional well-being. It can feel like her affection is crucial for your happiness and stability.

- Pressure-This need can put pressure on the relationship, making her feel like she has to constantly provide reassurance and support.

- Insecurity - Needing love can come from a place of insecurity or fear of losing her. It might show up as jealousy or anxiety about the relationship.

- Imbalance - This dynamic can create an imbalance, where one partner feels overburdened by the other's emotional needs.


Wanting Her Love

- Desire- Wanting her love is about genuine desire and appreciation. It means you enjoy her affection and companionship, but it's not a necessity for your emotional health.

- Freedom - This approach allows both partners to have space and freedom in the relationship, maintaining their individuality while still enjoying a deep connection.

- Security- Wanting love shows security and confidence. You value her presence and love, but you're also content and secure within yourself.

- Balance - This dynamic promotes a balanced relationship where both partners give and receive love willingly and joyfully.


Summary

- Needing Her Love - Comes from dependence and insecurity, can add pressure and create an unhealthy dynamic.

- Wanting Her Love - Rooted in desire and security, fosters a healthy, respectful, and mutually fulfilling relationship.

Understanding this difference can help build a stronger, more resilient relationship based on mutual respect and genuine affection.

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