I was having a conversation with a coaching client who was struggling to get love back from his wife.
Ultimately, it came from a place of lacking self-love.
This got me thinking about the difference between needing her love and wanting her love.
Needing Her Love
- Dependence - Needing her love often means relying on her for your emotional well-being. It can feel like her affection is crucial for your happiness and stability.
- Pressure-This need can put pressure on the relationship, making her feel like she has to constantly provide reassurance and support.
- Insecurity - Needing love can come from a place of insecurity or fear of losing her. It might show up as jealousy or anxiety about the relationship.
- Imbalance - This dynamic can create an imbalance, where one partner feels overburdened by the other's emotional needs.
Wanting Her Love
- Desire- Wanting her love is about genuine desire and appreciation. It means you enjoy her affection and companionship, but it's not a necessity for your emotional health.
- Freedom - This approach allows both partners to have space and freedom in the relationship, maintaining their individuality while still enjoying a deep connection.
- Security- Wanting love shows security and confidence. You value her presence and love, but you're also content and secure within yourself.
- Balance - This dynamic promotes a balanced relationship where both partners give and receive love willingly and joyfully.
Summary
- Needing Her Love - Comes from dependence and insecurity, can add pressure and create an unhealthy dynamic.
- Wanting Her Love - Rooted in desire and security, fosters a healthy, respectful, and mutually fulfilling relationship.
Understanding this difference can help build a stronger, more resilient relationship based on mutual respect and genuine affection.
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